Rushing winds blow through this temple
Cleanse this heart and make me whole
By Your grace I come to You today
I was lost yet you call my name
Lead me on past the outer gates
To Your heart embraced in You I rest
Rushing winds pick me up today
Send me high, soar through outer space
Like a star shining for Your name
Rushing winds blow through this temple
Cleanse this heart and make me whole
By Your grace I come to You today
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
What to do...what to do
Dunedin, Alexandra, Queenstown, Invercargill. Four very different places. Four very cool destinations (well, maybe three)
The Youth Choir Tour was freakin awesome, although the shock to the body of going from 27 degrees in Auckland to 13 in Dunedin was not particuarliy welcomed. We did a lot of really good work and I was able to fix a friendship that had been on rocky waters the previous trip...
So I come home to find that my wonderful homegroup, who I love very much, has decided to change the day of our meeting to a Monday night without even talking to me...I have realised in subsequent days that this sounds really quite pompous but I think I have to say it to explain why I feel the way I feel. Monday nights don't work for me, its a night that I have dedicated for 5 years to Worship. not something that I can change. It then changed to a Tuesday night...the only night that I will invariably not be able to go...I love them all so much
So how I am feeling at the moment is rejected. I feel as though my friends are dead to me. I know that the problem lies within and that my ill feeling toward them is only about something I'm not happy about within me. For several years now I have felt as though all the depressing emotions that i feel about myself and life in general we connected with guilt over some habitual sins. I recently released that burden and yet still find myself feeling exactly the same way. Actually it is worse. Before I felt as though I knew why I felt this way, now I don't know at all. I have never really been scared about much, but now I am. I am scared that something inside me doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6
This is all that keeps me going at the present.
The Youth Choir Tour was freakin awesome, although the shock to the body of going from 27 degrees in Auckland to 13 in Dunedin was not particuarliy welcomed. We did a lot of really good work and I was able to fix a friendship that had been on rocky waters the previous trip...
So I come home to find that my wonderful homegroup, who I love very much, has decided to change the day of our meeting to a Monday night without even talking to me...I have realised in subsequent days that this sounds really quite pompous but I think I have to say it to explain why I feel the way I feel. Monday nights don't work for me, its a night that I have dedicated for 5 years to Worship. not something that I can change. It then changed to a Tuesday night...the only night that I will invariably not be able to go...I love them all so much
So how I am feeling at the moment is rejected. I feel as though my friends are dead to me. I know that the problem lies within and that my ill feeling toward them is only about something I'm not happy about within me. For several years now I have felt as though all the depressing emotions that i feel about myself and life in general we connected with guilt over some habitual sins. I recently released that burden and yet still find myself feeling exactly the same way. Actually it is worse. Before I felt as though I knew why I felt this way, now I don't know at all. I have never really been scared about much, but now I am. I am scared that something inside me doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6
This is all that keeps me going at the present.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The slow and drawn out end to the holidays
So, most of my friends have gone off to Kai Iwi Lakes. The most modern and hospitible place in the north island (sorry for the sarcasm I was brought up to tent with electricity)
Which leaves me to occupy myself for a few days until i fly to dunedin tomorrow. Yippee. New Zealand Youth Choir tour here I come. 10 days of hard work singing for 8 hours+ a day. Its my life and i'm so looking forward to it.
My mother brought home some juggling balls and decided that we should all learn to juggle...hilarity ensued...we are not the most coordinated of families but I've managed to get three working together somewhat haphazardly but at least they are working.
I have got myself into a somewhat unusual sleeping habit. Out of bed at 12.30pm and then back into bed a 3am. Thats what parachute will do to you i guess. I must try and change back to something regular before I need to be singing at 9am, not very easy when you are tired.
Which leaves me to occupy myself for a few days until i fly to dunedin tomorrow. Yippee. New Zealand Youth Choir tour here I come. 10 days of hard work singing for 8 hours+ a day. Its my life and i'm so looking forward to it.
My mother brought home some juggling balls and decided that we should all learn to juggle...hilarity ensued...we are not the most coordinated of families but I've managed to get three working together somewhat haphazardly but at least they are working.
I have got myself into a somewhat unusual sleeping habit. Out of bed at 12.30pm and then back into bed a 3am. Thats what parachute will do to you i guess. I must try and change back to something regular before I need to be singing at 9am, not very easy when you are tired.
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