What to do...what to do

Dunedin, Alexandra, Queenstown, Invercargill. Four very different places. Four very cool destinations (well, maybe three)

The Youth Choir Tour was freakin awesome, although the shock to the body of going from 27 degrees in Auckland to 13 in Dunedin was not particuarliy welcomed. We did a lot of really good work and I was able to fix a friendship that had been on rocky waters the previous trip...

So I come home to find that my wonderful homegroup, who I love very much, has decided to change the day of our meeting to a Monday night without even talking to me...I have realised in subsequent days that this sounds really quite pompous but I think I have to say it to explain why I feel the way I feel. Monday nights don't work for me, its a night that I have dedicated for 5 years to Worship. not something that I can change. It then changed to a Tuesday night...the only night that I will invariably not be able to go...I love them all so much

So how I am feeling at the moment is rejected. I feel as though my friends are dead to me. I know that the problem lies within and that my ill feeling toward them is only about something I'm not happy about within me. For several years now I have felt as though all the depressing emotions that i feel about myself and life in general we connected with guilt over some habitual sins. I recently released that burden and yet still find myself feeling exactly the same way. Actually it is worse. Before I felt as though I knew why I felt this way, now I don't know at all. I have never really been scared about much, but now I am. I am scared that something inside me doesn't feel right and I don't know what it is.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:6

This is all that keeps me going at the present.